Dear 22-Year-Old Me

Sorry that I left you hanging ... and just when it was getting good!  (If you're new to this little series of letters to my younger self, you can get caught up here.)

1996 will be a huge year for you.  (And yes, I just told the world your age.  Oh well.)  You'll graduate from Auburn (War Eagle!), do a little substitute teaching (confirming once again that you aren't designed to be a middle school teacher), and get a fun job at a travel agency.

Remember the heartache I warned you about with the reappearance of this guy?  Yes, that will be this Summer.  You initiated the reunion (re-reading old love letters will tend to have that effect on a girl) and had such high hopes.  But it's just not meant to be.  It will be excruciatingly painful to see how much this person has changed, but thankfully it won't be a long process to find this out.

Going to grad school at Georgia Tech is the right decision, but you're about to enter one of the most challenging times of your life.  Moving to Atlanta all by yourself is exciting, but also terrifying.  When The One calls to ask if you want to go to Six Flags the first Saturday you're there, you'll be quietly amazed at how excited you are about him coming.  After all, going out with him has never been particularly exhilarating before.

A fun day at Six Flags will turn into supper at The Varsity and a late night.  With nothing more than a "see you later," The One will head back home to Auburn.  When you watch him get into his car from your window, take a good look at his right leg.  It's the last time you'll see it in one piece.  Everything is about to change ... for him and for you.

There's something about realizing how close you came to losing someone that will make you never want to lose them again.  Watching The One bravely deal with his injuries and later making the brave choice for amputation will create feelings of love that were never there before.  (And catching a glimpse of his cute bottom in that hospital gown won't hurt either!)

Nevertheless, such a life-changing event doesn't leave a man immediately ready to make a lifelong commitment.

While The One is trying to figure out how to move forward in his new circumstances, you'll briefly date a guy from down the hall.  He's an aerospace engineer from Michigan.  Nice guy, but definitely not The One.

But don't despair.  The adventure of a lifetime is about to begin....



This post is linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary Other days: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Bloomin' Monday: Final Thoughts

Hi friends,

I have enjoyed this little series on Making the Most of Moving to a New Town, and I hope you have, too. 

If you've moved even one time, it's likely that you've experienced a letdown after getting the boxes unpacked.  There are many reasons for this, but the main one for me tends to be unmet expectations.  Before moving, I always (well, at least usually) have these visions of how much better things will be in the next place.  I'll be more organized.  The kids will play more nicely together.  I'll finally get motivated to lose these last 15 pounds.  I'll invite more people over.  I'll know my neighbors better.  You get the idea.

So why don't those things happen?

I figured out the answer.  Are you ready?



Wherever you go, there you are.



Did you get that?  Let me try again.

Wherever you go, there YOU are.

All 12 addresses we have shared since getting married 13 years ago have one thing in common: we have lived there.  Moving won't make me suddenly more organized.  I won't suddenly turn into The Hostess with the Mostest.  The kids won't suddenly stop bickering just because the location has changed.

Now, this can be a real downer.  I mean, you've got all these plans and dreams for how things will be "when we get there."  And yes, sometimes moving can make a big difference.  If you move from a cramped apartment with half your stuff in a storage building into a house double the size of your apartment, things can get a lot better (except when you realize that all the stuff formerly in storage is now taking up that extra room).  But don't expect a move to solve all of your problems.

On the upside, there is freedom in this.  It also means that you don't have to wait for a move or other major life event to make changes.  Want to be more organized?  Start decluttering a few minutes each day.  Want to lose 15 pounds?  Make better choices at each individual meal.  Want to invite people over more often?  Then just do it.  Want the kids to stop bickering?  (I've got nothing to offer here.  Anyone??)

Not long ago, David and I were in a "U-Haul mood" and found a house online that would be just wonderful.  I caught myself thinking those "what if" and "if only" thoughts.  But I soon remembered that no house or situation is perfect.  Sure there might be some things that are better, but there will also be things that are not as good.

It all comes down to contentment.

I wish I could tell you that I have mastered this.  I haven't.  In fact, one of the reasons I haven't written on this blog in a while is because I have been struggling with discontent.  Most of it relates to the expectations I place on myself.  Maybe I'll write more about that later.  Maybe not.

But as this relates to moving, go ahead and make big plans.  Enjoy the process!  (I know that seems impossible at times.)  Make the changes that you can make.  But just realize that you will still be you after your address changes.  Your husband will still be your husband, and your kids will still be your kids (Lord willing).  And those are wonderfully good things.



This post is linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary Other days: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Bloomin' Monday - What NOT To Do

I hope you have enjoyed this little series on how to Bloom Where You're Planted - dealing with moving to a new town.  Everything I have written about has focused on how to get to know people, get involved, and put down roots.  So to wrap up, here's the one thing NOT to do: stay isolated.

It's amazing how easy it can be to just stay in your own little cocoon after moving to a new town, especially if you're an introvert like me.  Even if you're working outside the home, it's easy to get into a routine involving a few different places, get to know just a couple of people, and stay closed off to the rest of the world.

If you move frequently, this can become even more challenging.  "Why bother getting to know people when we'll probably just be moving again soon?"  "I won't be here long enough to even make friends so why even try."  "It hurt so badly the last time we had to leave good friends.  I don't want to go through that again."

It's a good thing for a move to be painful.

Let me say that again.  It's a GOOD thing for a move to be painful.  That means that you have invested your life into people, put down roots.  It's not good to leave and have no one even realize that you've left.

I know this from personal experience.  I really enjoyed living in Seattle.  I had a job that I loved (highly motivated students, wonderful fellow faculty, supportive leadership, etc.).  I would have gladly continued to work there for many years to come.  Seattle is a beautiful city, so different from where I had grown up.  I loved telling people back home that I lived in Seattle.  There was always this look of admiration in their eyes.

When David graduated from the University of Washington, he got a job in Jacksonville, Florida.  Thankfully, I also found a job right away, teaching math at a community college just as I had been doing in Seattle.  But it wasn't the same at all.  The students had abysmal math skills and very little motivation.  The faculty and staff were nice but not super-friendly.  We joined a Sunday school at a huge church but just never felt connected to the class.  To say that David was my only friend at the time would not have been an understatement.

This all combined with a number of other factors to put me into quite a tailspin, emotionally.  While much of it I feel was inevitable, I do think that the effect was magnified because I felt so isolated.  I had no family nearby (my parents were living in Ecuador at the time), I had just turned 30 (which set off all sorts of unexpected feelings in me), and I had no one I felt I could really talk to (besides my husband who, by the way, was awesome during this time).  It was a really rough year.  In fact, sometimes I still get very emotional thinking about it.

Thankfully, the Lord provided a way for us to move to Knoxville.  I was still not in great shape but making a lot of improvement.  I started praying for a fun friend, and He provided Rose.  You can read about her here.  From there I met another neighbor.  Then we got involved in our church, went on a mission trip, and eventually had lots of friends - many of whom we are still in contact with, thanks to Facebook.

I taught math again in Knoxville.  The students there also had abysmal math skills and little motivation.  I actually had even fewer friends at work because I was just teaching part-time.  But that didn't matter at all because I had lots of other people in my life.

Making friends is NOT an instant thing - at least not for me.  As I've said before, it has been my experience that it usually takes a full year (at least) before you will feel like you are a part of your community.  But it CAN happen.  Even for complete wallflowers like me.

So what are you waiting for?  If you haven't moved yet, try to make some contacts before you even get there.  Buy some brownies on your very first grocery trip and bake some for your new neighbors.  Join groups of people in your same stage of life.  Get involved in your church.  And then, once you've gotten yourself established (or even before!), be on the lookout for other people in need of friends.  I promise you, it's worth the effort!



This post may be linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie, Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family, Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary