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I should have known this was coming.  It has certainly happened before.  I wrote all about it here.

Homesickness.

Yesterday, the kids and I met some new friends at a local park for a play date.  We had a lovely time.  This fellow homeschool Mama seems like someone I will really enjoy getting to know, and we're planning to get together again in a couple of weeks.

But on the way home it sort of hit me like a ton of bricks: I miss my friends in Fort Smith.  Today was a reminder of the tremendous time and effort that it takes to develop friendships, especially for an introvert like me.  In my natural state, I'm a loner, but I have experienced the powerful negative effects of staying isolated, and I don't want to go back into that hole again.

I also miss my old house.  We have a couple who are trying desperately to sell their house so that they can buy ours, and financially, we *really* need for that to happen soon.  But meanwhile, my house here still has lots of boxes.  It also still has "builder beige" walls and bare windows, and I am overwhelmed with trying to make choices about paint colors and curtain fabric and furniture placement. 

I will keep moving forward.  I will continue to get out of the house and make new friends.  I will make these decisions, and it will all be fine.  But last night I cried.  And I grieved.  And I got a muscle ache all down the side of my neck from stress.

Am I glad we're here?  Yes.

Do I believe this was the right thing for our whole family?  Yes.

Will Rome, Georgia, eventually be "home" for me?  Yes.

Would I rather be in Fort Smith, Arkansas, right now?  Yes.

Today is a new day.  I've taken some Claritin (since I'm allergic to Georgia in May) and some Advil, and I'm determined to unpack more boxes here in my office/school room today.  I might even choose a paint color or two.  And tonight, Rome will be a bit closer to "home."  Tomorrow it will be a bit closer again.  And so forth.  I've done this dance a few times before, and I know the steps.  Maybe I just need to crank up the music.  I'm thinking my Summer Hits of the 80s Pandora station may be just the ticket.  :)




This post may be linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary, Pieces of Amy Other days: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Following My Own Advice: Part 1

A couple of years ago, I wrote a little series called Bloomin' Monday: Making the Most of Moving to a New Town.  (If you're interested, you can either click that link or where it says Moving at the top of this page.)  Well, since we're moving again in less than a week, I am getting the chance to once again put those ideas into practice.  Want to know how it's going so far?

Step One is about things that can be done before the move even takes place.  And I'm not talking about packing, forwarding the mail, getting services set up, etc. - although those things are certainly important.  I'm talking about social things.  Believe it or not, it is possible to begin making friends while you are still several states away.

I am thrilled to tell you that my kids and I have already been invited on a play date in our new town.  How did that happen?  I joined a Facebook group.  Since we're homeschoolers, I was particularly interested in meeting other homeschoolers in the area, so I joined a group, introduced myself, posted a question, and the responses began to come in.  One person (Hi, Amy!) took it a step further to reach out to me, and I instantly felt more comfortable and excited about our new hometown.

God also has a way of orchestrating things if you ask Him and are open to seeing His hand in things.  The first time we went to Rome (Georgia, that is), back in March, we had looked at some houses.  Before heading back out of town, we returned to a neighborhood we were considering (and where we are now moving) to check out another house that was For Sale By Owner.  It turned out that the house was already under contract and the price was too high for us, but for some reason (God!) the people invited us in, anyway.  We met a wonderful, homeschooling family who were moving to start a church plant in Maine.  She told me all about the local homeschool groups (one of which she helped to start), gave us some great info on local churches, and told us things about the neighborhood that our Realtor didn't know.  And under the "It's a Small World" category, her parents own the Denny's here in Fort Smith!

So, if you're planning an upcoming move, what can you do to meet people before you even move?  And if you've already moved in (whether 3 days or 3 years ago), what can you do today to become more connected to your community?  How can you Bloom Where You're Planted?




This post may be linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary, Pieces of Amy Other days: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Bloomin' Monday: The Lonely Hearts Club

Hi again!  I hope you're enjoying this little series on How to Make the Most of Moving to a New Town.  (Of course, if you've lived in one place for a long time with no plans to leave, I hope you're also getting inspired to become more involved, make friends, etc.)

When you first move to a new town and start to get to know new people, it may seem like everyone but you has lived there forever.  And in some cases, that may be generally true.  But I'm going to challenge you to look for other lonely people.

One of the first friends I made at Auburn was Candice.  She wasn't necessarily lonely (were you, Candice?), but she was sitting all by herself in the cafeteria one day.  Now, it's really not like me to sit down with a random stranger, but Candice was wearing a Truth T-shirt.  (Truth was a popular Christian music group at the time.  Remember my prom date from this post?  Well, he led me into becoming infatuated with all things Truth in the early 1990s.)  I asked if I could sit with her, she said yes, we struck up a conversation, and a friendship was born.  In fact, not just one friendship but many.  My roommate and I became friends with Candice and her eventual roommate plus another girl down the hall (Hi Sonya, Laura, and Lori!), and the 5 of us were practically inseparable for the next 3 years.

Fast forward about 8 years.  David and I had just moved from Montgomery, AL (about 3 hours from our parents) to Bremerton, WA (MUCH further away from our parents) and were facing our first Thanksgiving alone.  We had become part of a little church in Bremerton, and a family in the church invited us to their house for Thanksgiving.  We had a great time and decided to "pay it forward."  Since then, we have been on the lookout for other people living far from family and have hosted others for Thanksgiving in Seattle; Jacksonville, FL; and here in Fort Smith.  I strongly encourage you to consider doing the same for any holiday.  If you are sad about not being able to travel somewhere, I guarantee that there are other people feeling the same way.

So that's my 2 cents for today.

Coming up on Bloomin' Monday - a series of guest posts from my mother on how to Bloom Where You're Planted in another country.  You won't want to miss it!

Until then, keep bloomin'!



This post is linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary Other days: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Bloomin' Monday: The Way We Were

Before you moved, you made contacts.  Once you got there, you made brownies.  Then you joined a new group or two.

But at some point - if it hasn't happened already - it will hit you: things just aren't the same "here" as they were "there."  For some of you, this will be a blissful realization.  But for others of us, it will be a moment of profound grief.

The city where we have felt the most "at home" has been Knoxville, Tennessee.  We loved our neighbors, we loved our church, we made close friends, we got involved, and then ... we had to move.  Twice.  Yes, we went through that heart-wrenching transition two different times.  And both times I was pregnant.

The first time, we moved from Knoxville to Alabaster, Alabama.  I'll never forget the first Sunday we drove into the parking lot of what would become our next church home.  I cried.  Big, ugly, pregnant, mad, confused, crying.  I think David even cried, too.  We just sat in our car all during Sunday school and finally got ourselves together enough to go to the worship service.  And then they sang a song that we had learned on our mission trip to Mexico.  A song about how the Lord "gives and takes away - blessed be the name of the Lord."  And I almost lost it again.

Moving isn't for wimps!  Or pregnant women - if it can be helped.

Yes, we went on to make friends in Alabaster.  Last week, I even shared how I eventually got to lead a ladies' Bible study there which I truly enjoyed.  But first, we grieved.

This past week, a virtual friend of mine (we've never actually met, but I feel like I know her) wrote a post on this very subject.  I hope you'll click over and read it.  It touched my heart, and I pray it will touch yours, too.  You can read it here.

So go ahead and grieve.  Get it out.  Cry those ugly tears.  And then keep moving forward.  Make new friends.  I promise, it really is possible.



This post is linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary Other days: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Bloomin' Monday: Get Out There!

unknown source

So far in this Bloomin' Monday series (How to Make the Most of Moving to a New Town), we've talked about how to make friends before you even get there, and meeting the new neighbors.  Today, we're moving beyond the neighborhood.

As I have mentioned before, one of the best ways to meet new people is to find groups who share common interests/careers/stages of life with you.  My stage of life currently is Mom of young children.  When we first moved to our current city, I quickly made acquaintances through 3 sources: a local playgroup, a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group, and one of the moms in my son's preschool classroom.  (If you are also a Mom of young children, I cannot say enough great things about MOPS.  You can find a group in your area here.)

Another place where I have found great friendships is through the churches we have been a part of in each town.  (I know that all of you reading this may not be religious, but the general ideas that follow can still apply with other groups.)  After seeking the Lord and what church He would have you to join, I highly recommend checking out any of the following that exist in your church:

1.  Home Groups: There is something particularly bonding about meeting together in someone's home.  Without the formality that still tends to exist in most church classes, people tend to share more of their hearts, and friendships more quickly develop.  One of our favorite memories of our first home in Montgomery, AL, is of our home group.  Thanks to Facebook, we are still in contact with the leaders of that little group 12 years later.  (Hi, Candyce!)

2.  Bible Studies: Sunday school (or whatever it's called at your church) attendance is vital if you want to really become involved with your new church.  However, I'm talking more specifically about Bible studies that meet sometime other than Sunday morning.  I have enjoyed so many of these through the years and was blessed with the opportunity to lead one when we lived in Alabaster, AL.  (Hi, Laura and Kristi!)

3.  Mission trips: Should you go on a mission trip just to meet people?  Of course not.  BUT it is an incredible way to get to know people on a level that you otherwise may never reach.  Although we had been involved in home group, Bible studies, etc. for about a year when we lived in Knoxville, we truly felt most connected to our church after participating in a mission trip to Mexico.

The point is this: attending group functions will allow you to get out of the house (especially important if you're a stay-at-home Mom) and meet some new people.  But to really make new friends, you're going to have to go beyond the superficial.  Invite one person or a couple of people to lunch after the group meeting.  Invite another Mom to bring her husband and kids over for supper one night.  You get the idea.

After moving 13 times since getting married - 7 of which involved brand new towns - I have concluded that it takes about a year to really feel like you "belong" somewhere.  If you have made the effort to really get to know people during that time, the second year and beyond can be great!  (Admittedly, I have limited experience on the second year and beyond, but I'm currently enjoying being at 2 1/2 years here.)

It does take some effort, but it is worth it if you want to truly Bloom Where You're Planted!



This post is linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary Other days: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Bloomin' Monday: Won't You Be My Neighbor?

So you've arrived in your new town, the boxes are off of the moving truck and scattered throughout your house or apartment, and you're about to make your first of many trips to the grocery store.  I'm sure the list is a mile long, but I would suggest adding one more thing: brownies (homemade, from a box - it doesn't matter!).

 

http://www.myhomecooking.net/brownies/

It was our 6th move and first ever home purchase.  We were so excited to be moving to Knoxville, TN, and into our very own house!  Living in Jacksonville, FL had been less than wonderful (more on that later), so it was great to be getting a fresh start.  But of course, we didn't know anyone but our real estate agent in our new town.

As David was unloading the U-Haul in the Summer heat, our next-door neighbor, Rose, showed up with a lovely plate of brownies.  It was so appreciated and turned out to be the start of a wonderful friendship that still continues (Hi, Rose!).  Right away, we felt welcome in the neighborhood and like we had at least one person we could go to with questions or in case of an emergency.

Sadly, Rose's actions are extremely rare.  Only one other time (at our first place here in Fort Smith) has anyone come to meet us from our new neighborhood.  Nevertheless, we decided to carry on the brownie tradition each time we have moved.  Some people will be very appreciative, others will be embarrassed that they didn't bring you brownies first, and one or two may look at you like you've lost your mind.  But please take that first step.  It's a great way to break the ice!

If you're not about to move anytime soon, still keep a box of brownies in your pantry.  Then, when you see a moving truck arrive on your street, you'll be ready!



This post is linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie, Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family, Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary

Bloomin' Monday : Before You Move

Welcome to the first (official) installment of Bloomin' Monday - making the most of moving to a new town!  (For an introduction to this series, read here.)

Thanks to the Internet, it's amazing how much you can do before even arriving in a new place.  Yes, you can do things like arrange for the utilities to be turned on, have your mail forwarded, get a new local phone number (although fewer and fewer people are actually doing this, thanks to cell phones with no regard for long distance numbers).  But you can also meet people!

Back in 2009, I wrote a post about how I met my friend Lora through Facebook.  She was an invaluable resource for us before and in the days and months after we moved to Fort Smith.  Through her, we found a place to live, a preschool for Nathan (before we started homeschooling), and a great babysitter (a MUST for living this far away from the grandparents!).  You can read more about the Lora story here.  (She's also got a wonderful blog that I recommend - tons of yummy recipes and great homeschooling resources.)

Before we moved here, I was able to get connected to a playgroup with lots of other Moms of preschoolers.  I applied to the group online and was put on the waiting list for a short time, but did have some contact with the group leader.  As it turns out, she was a student in my first Algebra class at the college here in town!  (She was/is a great student - which was a relief since it would have been extremely awkward to fail her and then see each other at play dates!  Ha!)  Anyway, I got in the group shortly after we arrived, and we were able to start meeting other Moms and other kids right away.

So if you are going to be moving soon, get online and see what all you can find!  Search for people from your new town on Facebook and send a message.  Look up groups involving interests that you have (play groups, cooking classes, book clubs, etc.).  When we lived in Seattle, we joined the local Auburn Club to watch football games in the Fall, so don't forget alumni or career-related groups, also.  You can learn a lot about churches from their websites, so it's never too early to begin checking out possibilities there, too.

To me, there's just something about doing research on a place *before* I get there that makes me feel so much more comfortable once the move actually takes place.  True, it's not the same as really being there, but it's a good way to begin the acclimation process while you're still in familiar surroundings.

If you've already moved but haven't yet gotten plugged in to a group of friends, it's not too late to do these same things.  Even if you have lived in the same place for 20 years, you can STILL Bloom Where You're Planted!

Next week: Won't You Be My Neighbor?



This post is linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie, Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family, Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary

Joy

I've recently been following a blog called Pleasing To You, and I highly recommend it. The writer is celebrating her 100th post today by hosting a blog party where people write in about what brings them joy. I have found that I work best with these sorts of "assignments." Otherwise, I'm often wondering what on earth to write about.

When I saw this topic, I knew immediately what I wanted to write about.

Yes, my baby girl brings me great joy, but that's not actually what this post is about. It's about the camera used to take this great picture.

Earlier this month, I wrote a couple of posts about some DIY projects I've been doing around the house. I included some pictures, and several were less than ideal photo-wise. With an upcoming birthday, I wrote a not-so-subtle message (really intended for my mother) saying that I would really like to have a new camera.

Well, shortly after that, I received a comment from a reader named Jennifer saying that she wanted to contact me by e-mail. I wrote to her and thanked her for visiting my blog. She wrote back saying that she felt the Lord was leading her to give me her digital camera! She sent a link to the description of the camera, and I immediately saw that it was far superior to the camera I had at the time. I excitedly accepted.

The camera arrived this past Thursday. And not just the camera, but a lovely candle and candleholder from Yankee Candle (LOVE that store!) for a housewarming gift, and 3 fun books for my children! I just sat there in stunned JOY!

Did I mention that she lives in Rhode Island, and I live in Arkansas? We've been e-mailing back and forth, and we are really a lot alike in personality. Once again, God has used the Internet to make a connection that otherwise would never have been made. She has been working on a new blog to display her photography. Right now, it's under construction, but I'll let you know when it's up and running. I would love for you to visit her as well.

God has clearly used her as a channel of blessing into my life. I pray that He will bless her multiple times over for her generosity, and I pray that He will teach me to be that kind of friend.

What brings you joy?

Encouragement

There's a new site that has burst on to the blogosphere: (in)courage. It's already become super-popular because it's sort of a compilation blog done by about 20 bloggers who are well-known in their own right, plus the Dayspring division of Hallmark.

Anyway, they've challenged readers (and dangled the carrot of winning a new T-shirt) to write posts on the topic What Encourages You?

I've been giving this a lot of thought over the past several days, and particularly today. There is so much to be discouraged about right now in the world at large, so this exercise has been very beneficial for me.

The word I keep coming back to is new.

New things encourage me. New people, new opportunities, new environments, new challenges.

Here are some specifics:

1. New neighbors.

On Sunday afternoon, our next-door neighbors brought us a plate of brownies to welcome us to the neighborhood with a note including their cell phone numbers in case we ever needed anything. It is so encouraging for someone to reach out to us. You wouldn't believe how uncommon this is, even here in the South. The first time (and only other time) anyone has done this for us was the first time we moved to Knoxville. While we were busy unpacking, our neighbor, Rose, brought us a plate of brownies. We were so impressed by how thoughtfully simple that gesture was that we have made it a point to pay it forward. Whenever I see a moving truck on our street, I head to the grocery store to get a box of brownies.

But if you are the new person, let me encourage you not to wait around for your neighbors to make the first move. They most likely won't. Do it yourself! It doesn't have to be fancy. In the words of one of my favorite bloggers, "It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful."

2. New environment.

I really enjoy exploring a new territory. My husband calls it "filling in your map." In other words, as you get to know the main streets of a place, explore a little further to discover how they're connected. Get a map of your new (or old!) town just in case you get lost, and just start driving. You may be amazed at what you find, even in a place you've lived for years. If you're in a new place, this is especially important. Few things will make you feel more quickly "at home" than feeling like you know your way around.

3. New opportunities.

Perhaps the very best thing about moving is the chance to start over with a blank slate. How encouraging! While I don't recommend trying to be someone you're not (it won't last very long), it's always good to try to be a better version of yourself. Even if you're not moving at all, you can still make changes every day. Want to be more organized? Start with one drawer (or a shiny sink, a la FlyLady). Want to have more friends? Join a group like MOPS or a Bible study or a tennis club.


4. New ideas.

image from here

This past Sunday was our first time visiting a local church here in Fort Smith. In the Sunday school class, a Messianic (Christian) Rabbi was the guest speaker. (We're Southern Baptist, so that's not common at all!) He showed us things about the Hebrew alphabet and language that pointed to Christ in ways I had never known of before. Having gone to church all my life, it's rare for me to hear something completely new. This captured my interest.

New ideas are encouraging because they keep us from staying stuck in our own ruts and habits. Looking for new ideas? Go to the library. Check out area museums. Sign up for a class at the community college.

5. New mercies.
"The Lord's lovingkindnessess indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Thy faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:22-23)

Nothing is more encouraging than knowing that the Lord never gives up on me. I can have a clean slate with Him anytime, day after day. Every day is a new day. He doesn't hold my past mistakes against me.


So what encourages you?

Meeting the Neighbors

Well, thankfully we have arrived, safe and relatively sound. I'll get you all caught up on that soon, but I wanted to share a brief funny story.

We moved in on Wednesday, and trash day is Friday (afternoon). Our landlord had just moved out, and so the trash was piled high with her stuff, including frozen food she had cleaned out of the freezer several days earlier that now smelled to high heaven. Nevertheless, the pile apparently looked intriguing. No fewer than two neighbors came by that day to introduce themselves and ask if they could rummage through the trash....

Strange place, this Four Zits!

Making New Friends, Even Before You Get There

For most people (well, at least for me), one of the hardest things about moving is leaving friends behind and making new ones. It can be very tempting to just stay in the small world of your new house and new job without venturing outside of those circles. I confess that in a few places that we lived, I did exactly that. When you have moved many times, it's easy to say to yourself, "Why should I make new friends? It'll just be that much harder when we move again." But here's what I have learned: it's a good thing for it to be terribly hard to leave somewhere.

Friend-making can start before you even load up the U-Haul. Sites such as Facebook are wonderful for this. When we first began considering a move to Fort Smith, I searched for people on Facebook that had any connection to that town. One woman who came up in the search was in the Huntsville/Decatur, Alabama network, just like me, but she listed Fort Smith as her hometown. So I sent her a message and asked about her hometown. Her name is Lora. She's now one of my Facebook friends, we've met in person, and she's one of the inspirations for this blog. She has since moved back to the Fort Smith area, and I'm hopeful we'll soon be "real life" friends, too.

Through her, I have become connected to several other people in the area. In fact, the house that we will be renting was never listed for rent or for sale. Lora mentioned us to her friend Laura in the real estate / rental business, and Laura mentioned us to her friend who owns the house. I have also met another friend of Lora's, and we almost rented his house. Being from Fort Smith, she has been able to share all sorts of information about the area from schools to churches to restaurants to good areas to live. And because her kids aren't much older than mine, she understands what we are needing and looking for.

Now, I can't guarantee that you'll have exactly the same results, but don't be afraid to reach out to people online. In general, people love to tell you about the city where they live, and you'll get much better information than from city websites and such.

Later, I'll be writing more about how to get involved once you move, but I've found that the more connected you feel to a place before you even get there, the easier the transition will be.