Following My Own Advice: Part 1

A couple of years ago, I wrote a little series called Bloomin' Monday: Making the Most of Moving to a New Town.  (If you're interested, you can either click that link or where it says Moving at the top of this page.)  Well, since we're moving again in less than a week, I am getting the chance to once again put those ideas into practice.  Want to know how it's going so far?

Step One is about things that can be done before the move even takes place.  And I'm not talking about packing, forwarding the mail, getting services set up, etc. - although those things are certainly important.  I'm talking about social things.  Believe it or not, it is possible to begin making friends while you are still several states away.

I am thrilled to tell you that my kids and I have already been invited on a play date in our new town.  How did that happen?  I joined a Facebook group.  Since we're homeschoolers, I was particularly interested in meeting other homeschoolers in the area, so I joined a group, introduced myself, posted a question, and the responses began to come in.  One person (Hi, Amy!) took it a step further to reach out to me, and I instantly felt more comfortable and excited about our new hometown.

God also has a way of orchestrating things if you ask Him and are open to seeing His hand in things.  The first time we went to Rome (Georgia, that is), back in March, we had looked at some houses.  Before heading back out of town, we returned to a neighborhood we were considering (and where we are now moving) to check out another house that was For Sale By Owner.  It turned out that the house was already under contract and the price was too high for us, but for some reason (God!) the people invited us in, anyway.  We met a wonderful, homeschooling family who were moving to start a church plant in Maine.  She told me all about the local homeschool groups (one of which she helped to start), gave us some great info on local churches, and told us things about the neighborhood that our Realtor didn't know.  And under the "It's a Small World" category, her parents own the Denny's here in Fort Smith!

So, if you're planning an upcoming move, what can you do to meet people before you even move?  And if you've already moved in (whether 3 days or 3 years ago), what can you do today to become more connected to your community?  How can you Bloom Where You're Planted?




This post may be linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary, Pieces of Amy Other days: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Preparing for the Chaos

So you've probably heard by now that we're moving again.  While this is definitely "not my first rodeo," it's my first time to move with children old enough to know what's going on and to have an opinion.  (Number one request: they wanted upstairs rooms.  Check!  Of course, they also wanted their parents' room to be downstairs, but that didn't happen.)

For the most part, I expect this move will proceed as usual, with all of the inevitable chaos and general feelings of bewilderment.  But I'm doing something this time that I hope will help.  For the past couple of weeks, I've been trying to double up on recipes whenever possible to stock my freezer for the last 10 days or so before we move.  I'm hoping this will help my sanity along with our stomachs and checkbooks.

Moving into a previous house.

I know you all envy me for this craziness...  Ha!

Here are a few things I've got so far:
Tortilla Soup (crock pot - no link, but I can post the recipe if anyone is interested)
Cream Cheese Chicken Chili (crock pot)
Brown Sugar Chicken (crock pot) - scroll down and look under Favorites in this link
Pizza Soup (crock pot) - same link as above, recipe also under Favorites
French Chicken (crock pot)
Chicken Macaroni Bake - I would suggest adding some frozen veggies
Chicken Spaghetti
Spinach Lasagna Roll Ups

In case you haven't guessed, I love my crock pot.  It is especially wonderful during very hectic times.  Here are a few more crock pot recipes I'll probably add to the menus for the next few weeks (not currently in my freezer, but super-easy to put together in the morning):
Sweet and Tangy Meatballs (serve with rice and a veggie or salad)
Crockpot Chicken & Stuffing (David isn't a huge fan of Stove Top Stuffing, but he likes this.)

What are your go-to meals during crazy times?




This post may be linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary, Pieces of Amy Other days: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Bloomin' Monday: Final Thoughts

Hi friends,

I have enjoyed this little series on Making the Most of Moving to a New Town, and I hope you have, too. 

If you've moved even one time, it's likely that you've experienced a letdown after getting the boxes unpacked.  There are many reasons for this, but the main one for me tends to be unmet expectations.  Before moving, I always (well, at least usually) have these visions of how much better things will be in the next place.  I'll be more organized.  The kids will play more nicely together.  I'll finally get motivated to lose these last 15 pounds.  I'll invite more people over.  I'll know my neighbors better.  You get the idea.

So why don't those things happen?

I figured out the answer.  Are you ready?



Wherever you go, there you are.



Did you get that?  Let me try again.

Wherever you go, there YOU are.

All 12 addresses we have shared since getting married 13 years ago have one thing in common: we have lived there.  Moving won't make me suddenly more organized.  I won't suddenly turn into The Hostess with the Mostest.  The kids won't suddenly stop bickering just because the location has changed.

Now, this can be a real downer.  I mean, you've got all these plans and dreams for how things will be "when we get there."  And yes, sometimes moving can make a big difference.  If you move from a cramped apartment with half your stuff in a storage building into a house double the size of your apartment, things can get a lot better (except when you realize that all the stuff formerly in storage is now taking up that extra room).  But don't expect a move to solve all of your problems.

On the upside, there is freedom in this.  It also means that you don't have to wait for a move or other major life event to make changes.  Want to be more organized?  Start decluttering a few minutes each day.  Want to lose 15 pounds?  Make better choices at each individual meal.  Want to invite people over more often?  Then just do it.  Want the kids to stop bickering?  (I've got nothing to offer here.  Anyone??)

Not long ago, David and I were in a "U-Haul mood" and found a house online that would be just wonderful.  I caught myself thinking those "what if" and "if only" thoughts.  But I soon remembered that no house or situation is perfect.  Sure there might be some things that are better, but there will also be things that are not as good.

It all comes down to contentment.

I wish I could tell you that I have mastered this.  I haven't.  In fact, one of the reasons I haven't written on this blog in a while is because I have been struggling with discontent.  Most of it relates to the expectations I place on myself.  Maybe I'll write more about that later.  Maybe not.

But as this relates to moving, go ahead and make big plans.  Enjoy the process!  (I know that seems impossible at times.)  Make the changes that you can make.  But just realize that you will still be you after your address changes.  Your husband will still be your husband, and your kids will still be your kids (Lord willing).  And those are wonderfully good things.



This post is linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary Other days: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Bloomin' Monday - What NOT To Do

I hope you have enjoyed this little series on how to Bloom Where You're Planted - dealing with moving to a new town.  Everything I have written about has focused on how to get to know people, get involved, and put down roots.  So to wrap up, here's the one thing NOT to do: stay isolated.

It's amazing how easy it can be to just stay in your own little cocoon after moving to a new town, especially if you're an introvert like me.  Even if you're working outside the home, it's easy to get into a routine involving a few different places, get to know just a couple of people, and stay closed off to the rest of the world.

If you move frequently, this can become even more challenging.  "Why bother getting to know people when we'll probably just be moving again soon?"  "I won't be here long enough to even make friends so why even try."  "It hurt so badly the last time we had to leave good friends.  I don't want to go through that again."

It's a good thing for a move to be painful.

Let me say that again.  It's a GOOD thing for a move to be painful.  That means that you have invested your life into people, put down roots.  It's not good to leave and have no one even realize that you've left.

I know this from personal experience.  I really enjoyed living in Seattle.  I had a job that I loved (highly motivated students, wonderful fellow faculty, supportive leadership, etc.).  I would have gladly continued to work there for many years to come.  Seattle is a beautiful city, so different from where I had grown up.  I loved telling people back home that I lived in Seattle.  There was always this look of admiration in their eyes.

When David graduated from the University of Washington, he got a job in Jacksonville, Florida.  Thankfully, I also found a job right away, teaching math at a community college just as I had been doing in Seattle.  But it wasn't the same at all.  The students had abysmal math skills and very little motivation.  The faculty and staff were nice but not super-friendly.  We joined a Sunday school at a huge church but just never felt connected to the class.  To say that David was my only friend at the time would not have been an understatement.

This all combined with a number of other factors to put me into quite a tailspin, emotionally.  While much of it I feel was inevitable, I do think that the effect was magnified because I felt so isolated.  I had no family nearby (my parents were living in Ecuador at the time), I had just turned 30 (which set off all sorts of unexpected feelings in me), and I had no one I felt I could really talk to (besides my husband who, by the way, was awesome during this time).  It was a really rough year.  In fact, sometimes I still get very emotional thinking about it.

Thankfully, the Lord provided a way for us to move to Knoxville.  I was still not in great shape but making a lot of improvement.  I started praying for a fun friend, and He provided Rose.  You can read about her here.  From there I met another neighbor.  Then we got involved in our church, went on a mission trip, and eventually had lots of friends - many of whom we are still in contact with, thanks to Facebook.

I taught math again in Knoxville.  The students there also had abysmal math skills and little motivation.  I actually had even fewer friends at work because I was just teaching part-time.  But that didn't matter at all because I had lots of other people in my life.

Making friends is NOT an instant thing - at least not for me.  As I've said before, it has been my experience that it usually takes a full year (at least) before you will feel like you are a part of your community.  But it CAN happen.  Even for complete wallflowers like me.

So what are you waiting for?  If you haven't moved yet, try to make some contacts before you even get there.  Buy some brownies on your very first grocery trip and bake some for your new neighbors.  Join groups of people in your same stage of life.  Get involved in your church.  And then, once you've gotten yourself established (or even before!), be on the lookout for other people in need of friends.  I promise you, it's worth the effort!



This post may be linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie, Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family, Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary

Bloomin' Monday: Moving Overseas, Part 3

Hi again!

Sorry I haven't written much lately.  With it being the end of the term at the school where I teach online and about a million other things going on, I just haven't really had much of a chance - or desire, to be honest.  :)  Hopefully that will change soon.

In the meantime, here's "the rest of the story" from my Mom.  (If you're just joining this series on How to Make the Most of Moving to a New Town, you can read the earlier posts here.)  I hope you'll also take a few minutes to visit my Mom's blog here.

Once I dealt with the basics of surviving in Ecuador and could finally prepare a decent meal using foreign ingredients, non-North American-made appliances, and factoring in an altitude of 8500-9000 ft. (we were in the Andes Mountains, not on the coast or in the rainforest), THEN I felt as though I could finally “bloom where I’d been planted.”  Because, after all, when I could extend hospitality – a fancy word for “having folks over to the house” – then friendships could be developed and warmth and love could be extended, Connie-style.

                Many people came through our front door, representing a wide gamut of economic levels and social backgrounds.  We hosted numerous missionaries and volunteer teams from the States, but some of our most memorable times came when Ecuadorian and Quichua people were in our home.  (Quichua are the indigenous people of Ecuador, the poorest on the economic ladder). 

                Three young Quichua men came every Thursday night for supper and for training in church planting.  At first, I was pretty nervous about what I would serve them, but that only lasted through the first meal.  Those guys ate everything I put in front of them, without questions, and without any indication that they “didn’t like it.”  I tried a few Southern dishes, but mostly I stuck to soups (very common in the Andes since it gets cold when the sun goes down), chicken, rice, salad, and bread.  There were never any leftovers because whatever they didn’t finish at the table they happily took home for later.  These young men earnestly prayed for daily work in order to provide “daily bread” for themselves and their families.  For them, food was survival.  It was not a matter of taste preferences. What was given to them to eat was accepted and eaten.  Period.  I must admit that it’s now a little harder for me to be tolerant of picky eaters.

                Ecuador is one of the world’s biggest exporters of bananas, yet I was never able to find a single box of Nilla Wafers for sale there.  I couldn’t imagine these folks not experiencing the delight of banana pudding.  Once when a volunteer team was coming in, I asked them to bring me some Nilla Wafers and could hardly wait for the next time we had Ecuadorian guests.  I watched eagerly for the reaction to my yummy dessert.  What a disappointment!  They took a couple of polite bites and then all of a sudden were “too full for anything else.” (These were Ecuadorians, you understand, not Quichua).  Then, it dawned on me.  They weren’t used to so much sugar.  To their tastes it was probably so sweet it made their teeth hurt.  Oh well.  From then on, I saved my Nilla Wafers and banana pudding for visiting Gringos (a.k.a. missionaries starved for tastes from home). 

                We got a further lesson in Latin American culture when another Ecuadorian family came for dinner.  As we finished the main course, I started clearing the table for dessert, and Steve jumped up to help me.  The Ecuadorian husband – who was a product of a highly-macho upbringing -- was very disturbed by Steve’s actions.  Some rapid words of Spanish were exchanged, and his wife and daughters quickly began to help me.  In his mind, that was NOT a job for a man, and I’m reasonably sure he didn’t plan to start such a practice at his own supper table.  Evidently, we were forgiven, because we enjoyed many more meals with this family, but Steve kept his seat when this man was present.  “When in Rome . . . .”

                The longer we stayed in that beautiful country, the easier it was to “bloom.”  After all, the country itself has spectacular natural beauty, and the lush vegetation provided a continuous palette of brilliant color.  Poinsettias grew as big as trees.  Calla lilies, so expensive here, were very common, and the roses, oh, the roses.  I was able to buy a dozen beautiful long- stemmed ones in any color at any time for less than $1.50. 

                I could write for days about the blessings we received as a result of our time in Ecuador.  If you ever get a similar opportunity, I hope you’ll grab it, and I hope you’ll find your own ways to bloom while you’re there.

Next week, I'll be back for Bloomin' Monday.  Just a couple more posts in this little series.  I hope you've found it to be helpful.  How are you bloomin' these days?




This post is linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary Other days: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Bloomin' Monday: Moving Overseas, Part 2

Hi!

Just in case you're new to my Home on the Web, Welcome!  In addition to random posts about recipes, dancing on bridges, and crying in Subway, each Monday I've been writing a little series on Making the Most of Moving to a New Town.  (I've heard that a writer is supposed to write what she knows, and moving is something I know a lot about!)  All of my moves have been within the US, so my examples are pretty much American.

Last week, my mother made her first guest appearance here on the ol' blog, talking about her move (with my Dad) to Ecuador and the challenges she faced adjusting to life in a new country.  Today, she continues the story....

Once we got some recognizable food in the kitchen, the serious business of figuring out how to survive in our new environment began in earnest.

Water.  What could be more basic than safe drinking water and a hot shower?  Well, finding out where and how to purchase the huge jugs of purified water and portable gas cylinders to attach to the water heater were top priorities.  Along that same line, decontaminating fresh fruits and vegetables was necessary in order to prevent internal parasites.  Poor Steve.  Since he ate out in the countryside more than I did, he had 4 bouts of parasites while we were in Ecuador.  My one case came from the food in a little café we THOUGHT we could trust.  Rough stuff.

Driving.   All of the vehicles owned by the Mission Board had stick shifts, and I never learned to drive anything but an automatic.  Uh oh.  However, by the time we were issued a car, I had already decided that I wasn’t fearless enough to drive where there seemed to be no rules and where horns honked incessantly.  Not only was the traffic chaotic, but the roads were in horrible condition, and drivers were fighting for road space with belching buses and taxis that appeared to be held together with duct tape.  One unwritten rule we learned finally sealed the deal about my driving.  If someone is involved in an accident where any kind of injury occurs, everyone is taken to jail until all the bribes are paid.  Yikes!!!  It was bad enough that Steve drove with that “rule” hanging over his head.  Being chauffeured by Steve, walking, or taking a taxi was immensely preferable in my mind to spending the night in an Ecuadorian jail cell. 

Internet.  With all of our children and family members at least 3000 miles away, this was Numero Uno on my “list of things that must be done.”  About a week after we arrived, Steve and I went downtown to mark this off our list.   He dropped me off at the office and went on to accomplish some other things.  Since I’d had Spanish in high school and college, it stood to reason that I would be able to communicate enough to be understood.  Who knows what I really said?  And further, who knows what that dear receptionist was saying to me?    I just remember that after about an hour, I broke down in tears of frustration and despair because I was feeling overwhelmed and in desperate need of a way to hear from my children.  We were able to finally work things out, but I still recall that incident as a time when I “lost it.” 

Medical and Dental Services.  One of my biggest fears while we were on the field was that Steve or I would have a serious illness or injury and require medical care.   One day Steve was out treating some animals for our Quichua church friends, and a cow stepped on his foot.  We went to a doctor that was recommended.  The poor man had absolutely NO diagnostic equipment of any kind and just pulled some pharmacy samples out of a pile in a cabinet for Steve to try.  L  On another occasion, a huge filling fell out of one of my teeth, and in spite of my long-standing fears about dentists, I knew I was going to have to have something done.  Steve bravely volunteered to “go first” and try out one or two.  He came in from the first dentist and said, “Well, you won’t be going to THAT one.  He didn’t even wear gloves and there was no place to spit.”  Yikes!  The good news is that by the time I did have a true medical crisis and needed to have my gallbladder removed, we had discovered a good hospital with very competent doctors, and my surgery was a big success.  Thank you, God.

In spite of all these challenges, there were many pleasant, happy things going on.  We became good friends with our Spanish teachers and actually enjoyed the requirement of spending many hours each week out in stores and markets practicing the language.  That’s where we truly began to understand the culture and to do the things we had gone to Ecuador to do – build relationships and share the love of Jesus. 

Buds were sprouting.  Could the blooming be far behind?

My mother's a great story-teller, don't you think?  I hope you'll come back next week for the rest of the story.  Until then, you can visit her blog here.  Keep Bloomin'!



This post is linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary Other days: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Bloomin' Monday: Moving Overseas, Part 1

Hi again!

I hope you all are enjoying this series on Making the Most of Moving to a New Town and beginning to Bloom more in your current location.  As you've probably figured out by now, my husband and I have moved a lot during our marriage - 12 times in 13 years, to be exact! - but all of those moves have been within the United States.

Back in late 2002, my parents moved to Ecuador as missionaries.  I have asked my Mom to write a few guest posts for Bloomin' Monday on the lessons she learned from that experience.  She blogs at The Proverbs 32 Woman, and I know she would love it if you would stop by for a visit.

Here's what she wrote for today:

In the first 31 years that Steve and I were married, we moved 6 times.  Three of those were within the same zip code, and all were within the State of Alabama.  The process was logical and predictable.  Find a place to live, line up a moving truck, throw everything in a box, have the utilities and phone turned off at the old place and on at the new place, fill out some change-of-address cards, line up some friends and/or professionals with strong backs, and hope to arrive with a minimum of breakage and miscalculation in terms of what-would-fit-where.  All dealings were transacted in English – even SOUTHERN English – and the kids never had to change school systems.

In 2002, we were given the incredible opportunity of moving to Ecuador and serving as Southern Baptist missionaries.  All previous “knowns” became “unknowns,” and every single item that we had acquired through 31 years of marriage needed to be examined and labeled: THROW AWAY, GIVE AWAY, STORE, or PACK.  Everything.  Our crate allowance from the Mission Board consisted of two 200-cu.ft. containers.  That’s right.  We were expected to reduce our needs for a minimum of 4 years down to 400 cu. ft.  The arrival date for those containers was a huge unknown (shipping time could be predicted, but when Customs would release them was something else entirely), so we had to further reduce our must-have belongings down to 2 suitcases and 2 footlockers that would arrive in the country on the plane with us.

Our children, who were by then married adults, were the primary beneficiaries of much of our “stuff.”  Other things were sold, so we could use that money to buy replacements in Ecuador.  Cherished items were boxed and stored in my Dad’s attic.  Good Will got many loads, and dumpsters were filled repeatedly.   We got it all done, but I vaguely remember these weeks as something of a blur.  Now, almost ten years later, Steve and I still look at each other sometime and say, “Whatever happened to the ______ we used to have?” 

We arrived in the country two days after Christmas and were taken to a furnished apartment by a fellow missionary who had loaned us some basics – 2 plates, 2 cups, 2 glasses, 2 forks, 2 towels, a potholder, you get the idea, a small aluminum skillet and a saucepan.  VERY basic.  We had not been issued a car yet, so we depended on this missionary (Linda) for transportation and everything, for that matter. 

The main order of business was getting some food in the refrigerator.  The challenge of cooking it was still to come.  The first of MANY culture shocks began in the supermarket where she carried us.  The frozen food section was only a little bigger than my last refrigerator, there was an entire aisle dedicated to rice, the meat section smelled funny and caused my stomach to churn unpleasantly, I was constantly looking up words in my dictionary to determine what I was looking at, etc.  “Overwhelmed” would be the mildest word I can think of to describe what I was feeling.  Where in the world were Betty Crocker, Green Giant, Del Monte, White Lily, Gold Medal and Sister Schubert when I needed them, for heaven’s sakes???  I filled my cart with the most recognizable items I could find – mostly fresh fruits and vegetables and a whole chicken.  We made it back to the apartment, and I remember just sitting and staring for a long time.

I had not used a gas stove in over 30 years, and I quickly found out that foods and ovens “did funny things” at an altitude of 8500 ft.  We would surely have starved in those early days without the hospitality of Linda and some of her friends while I learned how to cook all over again. 

Stay tuned for the continuing story next week....

This post is linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary Other days: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home Friday:

Bloomin' Monday: The Lonely Hearts Club

Hi again!  I hope you're enjoying this little series on How to Make the Most of Moving to a New Town.  (Of course, if you've lived in one place for a long time with no plans to leave, I hope you're also getting inspired to become more involved, make friends, etc.)

When you first move to a new town and start to get to know new people, it may seem like everyone but you has lived there forever.  And in some cases, that may be generally true.  But I'm going to challenge you to look for other lonely people.

One of the first friends I made at Auburn was Candice.  She wasn't necessarily lonely (were you, Candice?), but she was sitting all by herself in the cafeteria one day.  Now, it's really not like me to sit down with a random stranger, but Candice was wearing a Truth T-shirt.  (Truth was a popular Christian music group at the time.  Remember my prom date from this post?  Well, he led me into becoming infatuated with all things Truth in the early 1990s.)  I asked if I could sit with her, she said yes, we struck up a conversation, and a friendship was born.  In fact, not just one friendship but many.  My roommate and I became friends with Candice and her eventual roommate plus another girl down the hall (Hi Sonya, Laura, and Lori!), and the 5 of us were practically inseparable for the next 3 years.

Fast forward about 8 years.  David and I had just moved from Montgomery, AL (about 3 hours from our parents) to Bremerton, WA (MUCH further away from our parents) and were facing our first Thanksgiving alone.  We had become part of a little church in Bremerton, and a family in the church invited us to their house for Thanksgiving.  We had a great time and decided to "pay it forward."  Since then, we have been on the lookout for other people living far from family and have hosted others for Thanksgiving in Seattle; Jacksonville, FL; and here in Fort Smith.  I strongly encourage you to consider doing the same for any holiday.  If you are sad about not being able to travel somewhere, I guarantee that there are other people feeling the same way.

So that's my 2 cents for today.

Coming up on Bloomin' Monday - a series of guest posts from my mother on how to Bloom Where You're Planted in another country.  You won't want to miss it!

Until then, keep bloomin'!



This post is linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary Other days: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Bloomin' Monday: The Way We Were

Before you moved, you made contacts.  Once you got there, you made brownies.  Then you joined a new group or two.

But at some point - if it hasn't happened already - it will hit you: things just aren't the same "here" as they were "there."  For some of you, this will be a blissful realization.  But for others of us, it will be a moment of profound grief.

The city where we have felt the most "at home" has been Knoxville, Tennessee.  We loved our neighbors, we loved our church, we made close friends, we got involved, and then ... we had to move.  Twice.  Yes, we went through that heart-wrenching transition two different times.  And both times I was pregnant.

The first time, we moved from Knoxville to Alabaster, Alabama.  I'll never forget the first Sunday we drove into the parking lot of what would become our next church home.  I cried.  Big, ugly, pregnant, mad, confused, crying.  I think David even cried, too.  We just sat in our car all during Sunday school and finally got ourselves together enough to go to the worship service.  And then they sang a song that we had learned on our mission trip to Mexico.  A song about how the Lord "gives and takes away - blessed be the name of the Lord."  And I almost lost it again.

Moving isn't for wimps!  Or pregnant women - if it can be helped.

Yes, we went on to make friends in Alabaster.  Last week, I even shared how I eventually got to lead a ladies' Bible study there which I truly enjoyed.  But first, we grieved.

This past week, a virtual friend of mine (we've never actually met, but I feel like I know her) wrote a post on this very subject.  I hope you'll click over and read it.  It touched my heart, and I pray it will touch yours, too.  You can read it here.

So go ahead and grieve.  Get it out.  Cry those ugly tears.  And then keep moving forward.  Make new friends.  I promise, it really is possible.



This post is linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary Other days: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Bloomin' Monday: Get Out There!

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So far in this Bloomin' Monday series (How to Make the Most of Moving to a New Town), we've talked about how to make friends before you even get there, and meeting the new neighbors.  Today, we're moving beyond the neighborhood.

As I have mentioned before, one of the best ways to meet new people is to find groups who share common interests/careers/stages of life with you.  My stage of life currently is Mom of young children.  When we first moved to our current city, I quickly made acquaintances through 3 sources: a local playgroup, a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group, and one of the moms in my son's preschool classroom.  (If you are also a Mom of young children, I cannot say enough great things about MOPS.  You can find a group in your area here.)

Another place where I have found great friendships is through the churches we have been a part of in each town.  (I know that all of you reading this may not be religious, but the general ideas that follow can still apply with other groups.)  After seeking the Lord and what church He would have you to join, I highly recommend checking out any of the following that exist in your church:

1.  Home Groups: There is something particularly bonding about meeting together in someone's home.  Without the formality that still tends to exist in most church classes, people tend to share more of their hearts, and friendships more quickly develop.  One of our favorite memories of our first home in Montgomery, AL, is of our home group.  Thanks to Facebook, we are still in contact with the leaders of that little group 12 years later.  (Hi, Candyce!)

2.  Bible Studies: Sunday school (or whatever it's called at your church) attendance is vital if you want to really become involved with your new church.  However, I'm talking more specifically about Bible studies that meet sometime other than Sunday morning.  I have enjoyed so many of these through the years and was blessed with the opportunity to lead one when we lived in Alabaster, AL.  (Hi, Laura and Kristi!)

3.  Mission trips: Should you go on a mission trip just to meet people?  Of course not.  BUT it is an incredible way to get to know people on a level that you otherwise may never reach.  Although we had been involved in home group, Bible studies, etc. for about a year when we lived in Knoxville, we truly felt most connected to our church after participating in a mission trip to Mexico.

The point is this: attending group functions will allow you to get out of the house (especially important if you're a stay-at-home Mom) and meet some new people.  But to really make new friends, you're going to have to go beyond the superficial.  Invite one person or a couple of people to lunch after the group meeting.  Invite another Mom to bring her husband and kids over for supper one night.  You get the idea.

After moving 13 times since getting married - 7 of which involved brand new towns - I have concluded that it takes about a year to really feel like you "belong" somewhere.  If you have made the effort to really get to know people during that time, the second year and beyond can be great!  (Admittedly, I have limited experience on the second year and beyond, but I'm currently enjoying being at 2 1/2 years here.)

It does take some effort, but it is worth it if you want to truly Bloom Where You're Planted!



This post is linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary Other days: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Bloomin' Monday: Won't You Be My Neighbor?

So you've arrived in your new town, the boxes are off of the moving truck and scattered throughout your house or apartment, and you're about to make your first of many trips to the grocery store.  I'm sure the list is a mile long, but I would suggest adding one more thing: brownies (homemade, from a box - it doesn't matter!).

 

http://www.myhomecooking.net/brownies/

It was our 6th move and first ever home purchase.  We were so excited to be moving to Knoxville, TN, and into our very own house!  Living in Jacksonville, FL had been less than wonderful (more on that later), so it was great to be getting a fresh start.  But of course, we didn't know anyone but our real estate agent in our new town.

As David was unloading the U-Haul in the Summer heat, our next-door neighbor, Rose, showed up with a lovely plate of brownies.  It was so appreciated and turned out to be the start of a wonderful friendship that still continues (Hi, Rose!).  Right away, we felt welcome in the neighborhood and like we had at least one person we could go to with questions or in case of an emergency.

Sadly, Rose's actions are extremely rare.  Only one other time (at our first place here in Fort Smith) has anyone come to meet us from our new neighborhood.  Nevertheless, we decided to carry on the brownie tradition each time we have moved.  Some people will be very appreciative, others will be embarrassed that they didn't bring you brownies first, and one or two may look at you like you've lost your mind.  But please take that first step.  It's a great way to break the ice!

If you're not about to move anytime soon, still keep a box of brownies in your pantry.  Then, when you see a moving truck arrive on your street, you'll be ready!



This post is linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie, Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family, Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary

Bloomin' Monday : Before You Move

Welcome to the first (official) installment of Bloomin' Monday - making the most of moving to a new town!  (For an introduction to this series, read here.)

Thanks to the Internet, it's amazing how much you can do before even arriving in a new place.  Yes, you can do things like arrange for the utilities to be turned on, have your mail forwarded, get a new local phone number (although fewer and fewer people are actually doing this, thanks to cell phones with no regard for long distance numbers).  But you can also meet people!

Back in 2009, I wrote a post about how I met my friend Lora through Facebook.  She was an invaluable resource for us before and in the days and months after we moved to Fort Smith.  Through her, we found a place to live, a preschool for Nathan (before we started homeschooling), and a great babysitter (a MUST for living this far away from the grandparents!).  You can read more about the Lora story here.  (She's also got a wonderful blog that I recommend - tons of yummy recipes and great homeschooling resources.)

Before we moved here, I was able to get connected to a playgroup with lots of other Moms of preschoolers.  I applied to the group online and was put on the waiting list for a short time, but did have some contact with the group leader.  As it turns out, she was a student in my first Algebra class at the college here in town!  (She was/is a great student - which was a relief since it would have been extremely awkward to fail her and then see each other at play dates!  Ha!)  Anyway, I got in the group shortly after we arrived, and we were able to start meeting other Moms and other kids right away.

So if you are going to be moving soon, get online and see what all you can find!  Search for people from your new town on Facebook and send a message.  Look up groups involving interests that you have (play groups, cooking classes, book clubs, etc.).  When we lived in Seattle, we joined the local Auburn Club to watch football games in the Fall, so don't forget alumni or career-related groups, also.  You can learn a lot about churches from their websites, so it's never too early to begin checking out possibilities there, too.

To me, there's just something about doing research on a place *before* I get there that makes me feel so much more comfortable once the move actually takes place.  True, it's not the same as really being there, but it's a good way to begin the acclimation process while you're still in familiar surroundings.

If you've already moved but haven't yet gotten plugged in to a group of friends, it's not too late to do these same things.  Even if you have lived in the same place for 20 years, you can STILL Bloom Where You're Planted!

Next week: Won't You Be My Neighbor?



This post is linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie, Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family, Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary

Bloomin' Monday

Move #10 - August 2008 - 7 months pregnant

You've probably noticed that I've been trying to resurrect this blog during the past couple of weeks.  Several people had mentioned that I should start blogging again, so I've been posting periodically.  Most of it has been pretty random, though.

I got to thinking about the purpose of the blog.  Of course, there are many (communicating ideas, preserving memories, sharing things I've learned or come across, etc.).  But the name of the blog, Bloom Where You're Planted, was chosen because I've moved many more times over the past 13 years than most people move in a lifetime, and I've learned (and continue to learn) the hard way how to make the most of those moves - even the ones that weren't planned or wanted (the one in the picture above was not planned and definitely not wanted).

The ideas that I will share are things that I have done myself.  Because of that, they relate most directly to a stay-at-home Mom in a new town.  But I'm hoping that others will get some ideas as well from reading my experiences.  I'm also hoping it will inspire someone who, although not new in a town, still hasn't really put down any roots or made any friends.

So I hope you'll join me each week as we discuss how to truly Bloom Where You're Planted.