Yes, but HOW??

???

My high school English teacher once described me as a romantic pragmatist.

What on earth does that mean?  It means that I have lofty ambitions and dreams, but I'm also intensely practical.  Not surprisingly, this leads to all sorts of inner conflict.

For example, I want very much to be a Proverbs 31 kind of woman.  (romantic)  You know the one - rises while it is still dark but doesn't let her lamp go out at night, always does her husband good, doesn't eat the bread of idleness, clothes her family in purple, surveys a field and buys it, and so forth.  And somehow while doing all of this her husband becomes well-known and successful, and her kids think she's the greatest thing since sliced bread.

But how is that supposed to look in 2012?  In America?  In Fort Smith, AR?  At my house?  Somebody please tell me how to actually make this happen! (pragmatist)  Yes, I've heard the theory that she didn't do all those things in the same season of life, but I'm not sure I agree with that.  I just don't see that in the passage.

Source of conflict: my aspiration and my actual life are light years apart.

I'm planning to do a Bible study on this very topic this Summer.  I'll let you know how it turns out.


Here's another huge one: parenting.  It seems everywhere I turn these days, someone is talking about parenting from the perspective of reaching the heart of a child rather than focusing on behavior modification.  That focusing only on behavior will result in producing little Pharisees.  Or worse.

I wholeheartedly agree.  But I have no idea how to do that.

I definitely was raised with my behavior in mind.  How my siblings and I acted - particularly in public - was of paramount importance!  (I'm not getting down on my parents here.  This is how they were raised.  And yes, behavior IS very important.  I don't think anyone ever said, "Oh no, here come those Pearson kids again.")  But here's the truth: even when my behavior was impeccable, my heart was totally rebellious.  And I think that the only reason that inner rebellion didn't come to more outward fruition was because I was (am) a classic firstborn: I fear(ed) disappointing people (especially my parents) above all else.

I'm almost certain that I'm parenting in this same way.  So what do I need to do differently?  What does this look like in the real world?  Generally, my kids behave very well in public.  Does this mean I've scarred them for life??

So I don't have all the answers.  Many days, I feel like I don't have any of the answers!  But I know The One who does.  And I will continue to seek Him.

I'm pretty sure that the reason this isn't all spelled out more clearly is so we will turn to Him.

"But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him."  ~James 1:5

Lord, I'm asking for wisdom.  I need it desperately.  And I believe You will answer.



 This post is linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary Other days: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Dear 22-Year-Old Me

Sorry that I left you hanging ... and just when it was getting good!  (If you're new to this little series of letters to my younger self, you can get caught up here.)

1996 will be a huge year for you.  (And yes, I just told the world your age.  Oh well.)  You'll graduate from Auburn (War Eagle!), do a little substitute teaching (confirming once again that you aren't designed to be a middle school teacher), and get a fun job at a travel agency.

Remember the heartache I warned you about with the reappearance of this guy?  Yes, that will be this Summer.  You initiated the reunion (re-reading old love letters will tend to have that effect on a girl) and had such high hopes.  But it's just not meant to be.  It will be excruciatingly painful to see how much this person has changed, but thankfully it won't be a long process to find this out.

Going to grad school at Georgia Tech is the right decision, but you're about to enter one of the most challenging times of your life.  Moving to Atlanta all by yourself is exciting, but also terrifying.  When The One calls to ask if you want to go to Six Flags the first Saturday you're there, you'll be quietly amazed at how excited you are about him coming.  After all, going out with him has never been particularly exhilarating before.

A fun day at Six Flags will turn into supper at The Varsity and a late night.  With nothing more than a "see you later," The One will head back home to Auburn.  When you watch him get into his car from your window, take a good look at his right leg.  It's the last time you'll see it in one piece.  Everything is about to change ... for him and for you.

There's something about realizing how close you came to losing someone that will make you never want to lose them again.  Watching The One bravely deal with his injuries and later making the brave choice for amputation will create feelings of love that were never there before.  (And catching a glimpse of his cute bottom in that hospital gown won't hurt either!)

Nevertheless, such a life-changing event doesn't leave a man immediately ready to make a lifelong commitment.

While The One is trying to figure out how to move forward in his new circumstances, you'll briefly date a guy from down the hall.  He's an aerospace engineer from Michigan.  Nice guy, but definitely not The One.

But don't despair.  The adventure of a lifetime is about to begin....



This post is linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary Other days: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Bloomin' Monday: Final Thoughts

Hi friends,

I have enjoyed this little series on Making the Most of Moving to a New Town, and I hope you have, too. 

If you've moved even one time, it's likely that you've experienced a letdown after getting the boxes unpacked.  There are many reasons for this, but the main one for me tends to be unmet expectations.  Before moving, I always (well, at least usually) have these visions of how much better things will be in the next place.  I'll be more organized.  The kids will play more nicely together.  I'll finally get motivated to lose these last 15 pounds.  I'll invite more people over.  I'll know my neighbors better.  You get the idea.

So why don't those things happen?

I figured out the answer.  Are you ready?



Wherever you go, there you are.



Did you get that?  Let me try again.

Wherever you go, there YOU are.

All 12 addresses we have shared since getting married 13 years ago have one thing in common: we have lived there.  Moving won't make me suddenly more organized.  I won't suddenly turn into The Hostess with the Mostest.  The kids won't suddenly stop bickering just because the location has changed.

Now, this can be a real downer.  I mean, you've got all these plans and dreams for how things will be "when we get there."  And yes, sometimes moving can make a big difference.  If you move from a cramped apartment with half your stuff in a storage building into a house double the size of your apartment, things can get a lot better (except when you realize that all the stuff formerly in storage is now taking up that extra room).  But don't expect a move to solve all of your problems.

On the upside, there is freedom in this.  It also means that you don't have to wait for a move or other major life event to make changes.  Want to be more organized?  Start decluttering a few minutes each day.  Want to lose 15 pounds?  Make better choices at each individual meal.  Want to invite people over more often?  Then just do it.  Want the kids to stop bickering?  (I've got nothing to offer here.  Anyone??)

Not long ago, David and I were in a "U-Haul mood" and found a house online that would be just wonderful.  I caught myself thinking those "what if" and "if only" thoughts.  But I soon remembered that no house or situation is perfect.  Sure there might be some things that are better, but there will also be things that are not as good.

It all comes down to contentment.

I wish I could tell you that I have mastered this.  I haven't.  In fact, one of the reasons I haven't written on this blog in a while is because I have been struggling with discontent.  Most of it relates to the expectations I place on myself.  Maybe I'll write more about that later.  Maybe not.

But as this relates to moving, go ahead and make big plans.  Enjoy the process!  (I know that seems impossible at times.)  Make the changes that you can make.  But just realize that you will still be you after your address changes.  Your husband will still be your husband, and your kids will still be your kids (Lord willing).  And those are wonderfully good things.



This post is linked up to one or more of the following blog parties.  Check them out! Monday: Menu Plan Monday on I'm an Organizing Junkie Wednesday: Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family Friday: 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, Company Girl Coffee at Home Sanctuary Other days: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home