Saturday, December 10, 2011

Hello! Hello? Is anyone still there??

So, it's been over two years since my last post.  Looks like there's a lot that needs updating around here.  Guess I'll get to that later once I remember how to do all those things again.  Much of the process has probably changed.

Several people have asked about my blog and/or asked me if I had considered writing lately, so I thought I might try breaking this thing out again.  No promises.  I would love to say I will blog wonderful, thought-provoking, and insightful posts every day, but I know that's not going to happen.  In fact, one of the main reasons I haven't written in so long is because I think, "Sure, I have a little time today, but what about tomorrow?"  The pressure to perform is so heavy sometimes, even though it's self-inflicted.

What is prompting this today is the morning I experienced.  I'll spare you the gory details, but suffice it to say, it was NOT my proudest Mama moment - not by a long shot.  There was quite a fit thrown, and my son didn't act very well, either.

Anyway, in the midst of my sobs of defeat and regret, I posted a very raw and very real status on Facebook.  And the response was overwhelming.  Obviously, I was not alone in this experience.  So why did I feel that way?  Why did the other Mamas sometimes feel that way, too?

There's a great risk in being vulnerable and real.  There's always the possibility that someone will misunderstand or misread.  There's also the possibility that someone will think you're crazy, or in the case of this morning, agree with you that you are, in fact, a terrible Mom.  There's the voice inside that says, "Real Christians don't feel/act this way.  What's your problem?"

But there is also great reward in being vulnerable and real - the chance to really know and be known.  Sure most people like me (I think), but how many of those people really know me?  My guess is that many of my Facebook friends may have thought to themselves, "I had no idea she had that much to say.  She's always so quiet and sitting on the sidelines when we're together in person."

Instead of feeling rejected this morning, I ended up feeling supported, normal, and perhaps best of all, understood.

So anyway, that's what I hope to do on this here blog - be real.  Some days it might be posts on various thoughts I've had that I need to explore.  Sometimes it might be just a more personal log (it is short for web log, after all) of the goings-on in my family so I can remember later on.  I'll probably also post some of our homeschool stuff (which brings up another area where I fear being vulnerable to criticism - but that's another post for another time).  Still other days will be much more shallow - links to posts I've enjoyed, recipes I recommend, etc.

But no promises about the frequency of posts.  I'm tired of putting ridiculous pressure on myself.  Anyone understand that feeling, too?  If today is any indication, I'm guessing the answer is, "Yes!"

1 comment:

  1. I, for one, will read each blog whenever you feel like posting one.


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